Wednesday, November 17, 2004

um... hi

right, well i suppose its been a while, and a lot has happened, but.... ive forgotten most of it. except for that jasmines baby is due soon, but lets not go there. Im going to sydney soon!!! cant wait!!! yay i get to see ben!!! anyway, moving on. oh right ive finsihed year 11 and i dont have any exams =) so ive been bludging for the past 2 weeks, and im loving it =D ... anyways, i dont know what else to say, im just sitting here thinking im pretty cool coz ive got these mad arse sunnies on, theyre freaking massive and theyre so cool , but anyway lol "small things" i suppose.. well hopes everything is great, and i suppose ben is going to be reading this so "HI!!!" and *hug & kiss* lotsa luv always, mel

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

hey there

you'll never guess what.......i'm in computing...AGAIN!!! and seeing as dr jenkins has decided to go and get depressed we're left with this stupid motherfucking bitch slag whore of a teacher. Sorry to swear and all that but you have no idea how incredibly annoying she is. Seriously, she talks to us like she owns us and she makes the most disgusting noises and it's really really horribly irritanting, seriously i've been sitting here for the last 45 minutes just grinding my teeth coz if i dont im going to have a go at her again..... and ARGH!!! i just want to throw my keyboard at her, and ram the mouse down her throat and drop my monitor on her head until she bleeds through her ears..... god she makes hil and me so mad.......... i would love to punch her out lol damn that would be funny.... ok mel calm down.. I got a job interview last night, it went really well and i hope i get it .. oh shit g2g the slag from hell is coming....

Monday, September 27, 2004

i didnt mean all the crap i said and im sorry

i just read the last blog i wrote, and i just want to say sorry to ben because i said some nasty stuff... i really didnt mean it, I was just a bit cut up about it... i really didnt know what to do i had a whole lot of crap happen at once and yeah.. i lost it a bit..God im so sorry i never meant it the way it sounded and please dont think i dont want u around, in fact its quite the opposite i wish u were in my life more but theres only half of australia in the way and im sorry... i feel so bad, i didnt think u would read it, i mean i didnt write it just coz i thought u wouldnt see it... i dont know... =( im so sorry .... i really hope this doesnt change how u feel towards me coz id hate myself if it did... i really want us to be close friends and yeah.. coz we got pretty close and id hate it if we lost it... god i feel like such a dick... im really really really sorry ben, and i didnt mean it, i mean i meant it, but i didnt mean it the way it sounded and now...wait im lost.. no i take all the bad stuff back and im really sorry... anyway, i have to go now, im sorry *hug* =''( talk soon, luv mel

Friday, September 24, 2004

another song....

Artist Lyrics: Silverchair Song Lyrics: Tomorrow Album Lyrics: Frogstomp [Buy " Frogstomp " CD]
It's twelve o'clock and it's a wonderful day
I know you hate me but I'll ask anyway
Won't you come with me to a place in a little town
The only way to get there's to go straight down
There's no bathroom and there is no sink
The water out of the tap is very hard to drink
Very hard to drink

You wait til tomorrow
You wait til tomorrow

You say that money isn't everything
But I'd like to see you live without it,
You think you can keep on going living like a king,
Oohh babe, but I strongly doubt it,
Very hard to drink,
Very hard to drink,

You gonna wait too, fat boy,
Fat boy, wait til tomorrow,
You gonna wait too, fat boy,
Fat boy, wait til tomorrow,
You, wait til tomorrow,
You, wait til tomorrow,

You gonna wait too, fat boy,
Fat boy, wait til tomorrow,
You gonna wait too, fat boy,
Fat boy, wait til tomorrow.

=)

hi, im in computing again, we dont have a teacher so we get 2 bludge again. It sucks kinda, its a bit boring but hey at least we dont have to do any work. Hmmm..... whats been happening recently... ill start with the bad stuff so i can end with the good and not get all shitty and in a grumpy mood etc etc lol... ok so anywayz, i think ive talked about ben before, probably.. i dont know... wha-eva anywayz, he told me that we had to go back to just being friends and i was like yeah ok thats cool wha-eva and then all of a sudden he's like o btw i have a gf and i was like ur a fucking bastard and im going to cut off your balls... god i was so cut.... stupid ben.. anyway hes not worth it, obviously doesnt know what he's missing out on... o well at least were still friends and that, it woudlve been shit if he just said yeah thanks for coming see ya round some time, which wouldnt of happened anyway coz i wouldve given him so much shit lol, it wouldnt be funny.... hmm anyway so ive been a bit shitted off coz i let it get me so cut up.... oh well lol ok moving on to the good stuff.... hmmm yesterday i was about to sit down and then ashley jelly giant said hey mel theres a spider behind you and i took off at a squillion miles an hour and ran down the hall lol damn it was funny... now harry gives me shit he watches me sit down and then looks over my shoulder and then opens his eyes really wide and then goes ......... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!! damn its funny but it makes me all paranoid and stuff... lol.... i dont think much else has been happening.... hmm im going ice skating tomorrow, that should be fun... anyway, have a great weekend stay safe and have heaps of fun!!! =) lotsa luv mel

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

school is gay

the teachers were meant to go on strike today but they didnt coz they suck. so im stuck in computing again bored shitless coz the stupid biatch relief teacjer doesnt seem to be able to comprehend through her thick skull that we dont have anything to do. So hil duncan and me went and stole the digital camera and took some photos. It entertained us for about 10 mins or so lol, but at least we werent in class with that stupid bitch dumb fuck teacher. its raining really heavily and we've got to walk to town.. damn that sucks. this school has become more like a concentration camp or detention centre or whatever, we have to sign in every 5 mins and they're always checking on us, where never allowed to leave school, not until 2 35 if we have frees anyway. Hmmm... having another cracking day lol, heaps of fun. stupid ben has a new girlfriend and i feel likke absolute crap. dont know what to do really..... i think i give up, that cellibacy nunery thing doesn't sound so bad after all.. god i complain too much, im going to shut up, thanks 4 reading =) have a great day luv mel

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

a song i like.....

Artist Lyrics: The Butterfly Effect Song Lyrics: Without Wings Album Lyrics: Begins Here [Buy " Begins Here " CD] Mould me, human clay Broken cutawayUsing me puppet strings still born (I'm still born), without wingsbroken wingsI've ruptured, the fragile sea taken a life you stealEmbryo and always too (always too)when building blocks, fall down on youwithout wings your without wingswhy wont you find the reasons why your without wings your without wingssmashing all your precious thingsyour ruining (x4) meI don't bleed without youTrauma, my mistake ending are we made to breaknew threshold the more you waitI'm breathing under water (x7)without wings your without wingswhy wont you find the reasons why your without wings your without wingssmashing all your precious thingsyour ruining (x4) meI don't bleed without youprecious thingswithout wingsif I'm dreaming your awake is it realinside me sickness mine to take yours to feel u cocoon inside your own temperate stain breathing new life into my lungs your not breathingyour without your without wings you left me hereyou precious things your precious things you broken, broken

stupid bad mood

im in such a shitty mood, so i thought id come and complain here. Sorry, but it was neccessary before i end up wanting to kill myself lol. I just want everyone to leave me alone, my stupid step mum keeps hassling me and im fucking sick of it. Seriously, my mum called me 3 times to make sure i was ok, and i cant take it any more. Then she gets shitty at me when i get shitty coz she wont leave me alone. (my mum lives in melbourne ) im so fucking tired, i cant ever sleep and then i cant stay awake at school and I never feel like doing anything and thats means my grades are falling and i have heaps of work to do and I cant get it all done, i dont want to make my dad angry coz he pays heaps 4 me to go 2 school, but i just dont have the energy to do anything.....god im so frustrated .... i just want to go to sleep and everyone to leave me alone..... i mean ppl just start hassling me as soon as i get home, and i always wait until the last possible bus just so i can avoid this crap but it doesn't seem to go away and i dont know what to do i just feel like crying, but i cant and it will just make me feel worse and i dont want to get like that but i honestly dont know what to do anymore..... i just want to go for a run down at the beach or something or scream or anything just to make it go away..... i want to go to sleep.... i cant handle this shit.. i think i need valium or something that will nock me out for a couple of days.... :( hate feeling like this ... think i'll go chill out in my room for a while.... sorry about all the complaining and stuff... thanks 4 listening, luv mel

Monday, September 20, 2004

yep... still nothing to do...

i stuffed up the time and date of my last blog... its actually monday the 20th.... anyway... so... I'm kind of worried about how I'm going to get to sydney.... dad reckons that as long as I have a private education I'll be fine and I'll always have enough money to survive... sorry dad but going to a priavte school doesn't mean shit. Especially not this one. It's worse than the public high school i went to on the mainland. This school is seriously beyond repair..... we've wrecked everything and the school had to pay $7000 just to fix up the graffitti, but i think they lied coz there's still all the same writing all over the school...I think they told us that just to make us feel guilty. I'm sorry... but 16-19 year olds rarely feel guilty and that is because we dont have any concept of what conscience (i dont know if I spelt that right) is and we probably wont ever get one 'til we are in our mid 30's and we'll look back on our lives and think we were a bunch of retards. Hmmm... yay! i just got a msg from ben.. that'll keep me entertained for a bit lol.... how long 'til recess? 45 minutes... I'm really hungry. YYYYAAAAAYYY!! i only have single philosophy next and not double. damn philosophy sucks sometimes. I only really like it when we have arguments coz I love arguing a point with someone. Especially when I'm right lol. We had this argument about God once and I said that as long as we dont have any physical proof that God exists then he doesn't. There has never been anything that anyone has ever seen that proves that God exists, and even if someone had seen something and had proof... no one would believe them anyway. Someone said that you cant see emotions, but we know they are there so that proves that i'm talking shit. I said yeah, but we can actaully feel emotion, like when we're sad, we feel it and when we're happy we feel it, when we are in love... etc etc....I have never felt the presence of a God, and that is why I don't believe in him/her. She said that she feels the presence of God and I said she was on drugs... lol i was only joking, people can believe whatever they want. I just find it a bit far fetched that there is this almighty being or whatever that is supposed to be able to fix the world just like that, coz he/she doesnt and everyone knows that the world we live in is seriously screwed. But yeah, thats just what I think. G2g and help hilary work this thing out, talk later, lotsa luv, mel =)